Thursday, January 15, 2015
The New Year
First, I apologize for not having posted in the last month.
The month of December is hard for me. I want to get everything right for everybody. This Christmas I was crocheting many things for friends and family and that took a lot of time. I loved it.
As I write this, my tree is still up. I will be taking it down this weekend and stowing all the decorations for another year.
I have been cleaning my house each week and that is a good thing. On Mondays I will cue up Breaking Bad on the Netflix and have it on while I do housework. Then, when I am done, I stop the show and watch regular TV.
I have to be very careful this time of year.
This time last year I was not functioning quite so well.
This time last year I put Breaking Bad on and didn't get out of bed, just kept watching the entire series over and over. For a month. An entire month.
My little dog Max barely got exercised. My house plants all died. My bedroom became overrun with dirty dishes and other garbage. I didn't talk to anyone. I didn't go anywhere. I occasionally got online, but only for short periods of time.
I found no joy in anything but the knowledge that I knew what they were going to say next in the TV show. It comforted me.
But this year? This year has been great. My doctor says so, my case worker says so. He came to check on me, remembering what had happened last year and wanting to nip it in the bud if it was happening again.
Now you know why it is so important to me that I can turn Breaking Bad off at the end of a day of cleaning. I can use it as a reward, not a crutch.
You may say, well, why not leave the TV show out of it entirely, just don't put it on. I had to, I just had to prove to myself that I was capable of not giving in to giving up.
I am making comfort foods like chili and cornbread in a nice, clean kitchen and the cold, dark winter is kept at bay. I am not eating the junk food I so enjoy when I am down.
I enjoy the cold much more than the heat at this point in my life and going outdoors in the daytime is a treat.
I am hoping that the new year is finding you in great spirits and that everything is going well for you.