Thank you for coming back to me. I appreciate your reading after this much time has elapsed. I won't let a long period go by between postings again.
Well, a few weeks ago I became the person we all love to hate. The one with the iPhone using food stamps. But, let me explain.
For years now my phone has been on my friend M's plan. Without him I would not have been able to afford a phone. This was before everything was bundled through a cable plan. Which I would not have been able to afford, either. On his plan, every two years you can get a new phone. It was time for a new phone for me. He saw that I could have the iPhone 4 for free. He asked me if I wanted it and I said, "Yes. I can put digital coupons on it!" So I did not spend $400.00 on a phone while I am on food stamps.
Whew! Now, imagine saying all of that in one breath while someone stares daggers at you.
That is how I feel when I use what little (less than $20.00) food stamps I get and use the coupons available to me on my phone. Yes, I could avoid the angry looks if I just didn't take my phone out of my purse, but if I can save money on food I am going to do so.
I agree that there are people who misuse and abuse the system. You probably know of someone in your neighborhood that has five kids and a new SUV and says that they don't work and that they live alone, when you see the husband every day, and they get $500.00 in food stamps every month. Yes, there are people who lie about income and assets to get more than they should.
I, however, am not one of those people. How can you tell? Well, you can't.
Everyone has a different story. If you worked hard and saved every penny to buy your phone, I applaud your effort. If you are well-off and picked up the phone just because it was new and you wanted it, good for you. But there is a trend in this society to think that just because someone is dirt poor, they should never have nice things. That includes things that were given to them. That includes things that, perhaps, they bought before they ran into misfortune.
And if you ask me how I came to have mine, I will gladly tell you. I am so very fortunate to have someone like my friend M. who does such kind things for me. But I will no longer feel guilty because of prying eyes. They will just remind me to be grateful for everything I do have. I have more than a lot of people I know or know of.
It is my point of view that we should all stop judging each other in the checkout line. Instead of thinking, "Does she deserve to have that?" let's think, "Is that enough toilet paper for that amount of groceries?".Because that could, indeed, be a disaster.
What other people think of you is none of your business. Live and let live and detach with love. 10 times out of 10 whatever we perceive others' perceive about us is 1. inaccurate (most people are thinking about themselves most of the time and 2. our subconscious telling us what we think about ourselves. So use this perceived judgement and what could be looks of exhaustion, boredom, depression, anxiety, bad period and mirror back to ourselves to find out what are we judging ourselves about. Those of us who live a shamebased life and are always doing the right thing never seem to get a feeling of not being judged. And that's usually because we carry the inner critic with us everywhere. Always. Give yourself, and the tired cashiers out their, a break and assume the best. You never know if someone is the market for a new iPhone and sees yours or likes your case or is staring into space and doesn't see you OR your phone. Besides, in this day and age of handing out phones with almost any contract plan, most people assume phones are free anyway. My $400 phone was. And I can guarantee you scanning a bar code from a phone is ALOT easier than separating paper coupons and scanning them and trying to check dates and look at tiny legal. I'm sure most cashiers are grateful you're so well developed digitally. And it's a well-known fact that many of the richest people in the world lived incredibly frugally, sometimes to the point of psychosis. But, hey, money has nothing to do with what people do or do not have. Feeling deserving does. That's all there is. Good for you for manifesting things in your life through creative solutions! And god bless the poor manual wage laborer who has to stand up for 8 hours at a time. I couldn't do it.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much Lisa. You are, I believe, 100% correct. I appreciate you taking the time to share with me. Thanks.
DeleteLisa Hopper, I love how you put it down. Your words are very close to how I see the scene as well. What a nice post for my friend Mary. Peace and Love.
DeleteThank you Anonymous! Didn't Lisa Hopper just hit the nail on the head?! Thanks you for commenting, my friend. Peace and Love to you, too.
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