Breaking Breaking's Grasp

From talking with people I have come to the conclusion that you either hate the TV show Breaking Bad or you love it. I happen to love it. Really love it.

I didn't watch it while it was on TV until the last half of the last season. My friend, M, had told me that I would probably like it but I just kept forgetting to watch. And now I'm obsessed.

Shortly after Christmas this year my sister's fiance made some Facebook posts about them watching the DVDs of the show. All but the last half of the last season was on Netflix but I didn't have Netflix at the time. I had to refer back to a marathon that AMC had shown. Well, when they were finished watching the DVDs they loaned them to me!

I had a marathon of my own. For days I watched nothing but the show. When I would come to the last one I would start over, each time noticing stuff that I had missed. The last half of the last season hadn't been released yet so I believe it felt like I couldn't get closure. Since then Netflix has acquired the series finale of the show so guess who got Netflix! Me.

This is one of those cases where I don't know why I do what I do. Yes, the acting is great. The writing is superb. And Bryan Cranston is, well, he's Bryan Cranston. I've loved him since he was on the show Malcolm in the Middle.

It has gotten to the point where the show is soothing to me. I've come to rely on it when nothing else is on TV and also when I am feeling bad or anxious. No commercials. Three or four hours of uninterrupted fantastic TV. I don't really know what about the show has caused me to obsess about it but obsess I do. I know it isn't normal or productive but my anxiety often makes me do things like that. Maybe the show gives me something to think about besides my anxiety.

I am grateful that I could get Netflix. When my sister and her fiance take back their DVDs I probably won't watch as much because it involves hooking the computer up to the TV. But that is okay.

Those of us with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) don't get to pick what we are obsessed with. Thank goodness I sometimes pick TV shows, which is relatively harmless.

Immediately upon awakening today I could tell it is going to be a day riddled with vague anxiety. So today is a day of watching Walt and Jesse. And I have to accept that that is okay.